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Monday, November 15, 2010

How to Get Rich Slowly: The First Step!

Hello, and welcome to, the premier blog providing methods, tips, advice, and encouragement on the ever-growing topic of getting rich... slowly. Ok, so it might actually be the only blog dedicated to this topic, but it's premier anyway! Our full set of features will include satire, sarcasm, quips, joshing, melodrama, and in the near future we hope to branch out into full-scale mockery. Add to your favorites, follow us on facebook, check us eight times every day on your expensive cell phone when you're supposed to be working, just make sure you don't miss any of the action provided FREE here at the Get Rich Slow blog.

In all honesty, there will likely not be updates all that frequently, as get rich schemes take time to plot and even more time to hatch. You wouldn't want to read about an unhatched get rich scheme, or a half-plotted scheme would you? No, I thought not. But, enough of the introductory ramblings, let's get to the meat and potatoes of today's money-making formulation.

Step One: Freelance Writing: my name is Kevin Smith and I am a published writer. No, I'm not exploiting some little loophole, I've been published more than once. I'm exploiting two little loopholes. You've never seen any of my work, so don't worry about whether you've forgotten what will someday be a ludicrously valuable piece of modern literature. Until now, that is. Why am I blogging all this stuff? For experience, of course. Who would want to hire a professional blogger who has never blogged? You guessed it: no one. How many people are hiring professional bloggers, you ask? Well, not that many. There are, though, lots of opportunities to write short articles, post on other's blogs, or write content for other's blogs on a pay-per-piece basis.

If no one hires someone with no experience, how do you get experience in order to be hired? Do what I'm doing... write for free. The Get Rich Slow blog is currently funded entirely by oxygen and sugary cereal, and quality control is provided by a burning desire to have a portfolio with which to be able to get freelancing jobs while attending college to pay for all the Subway sandwiches I will be consuming over the next three or four years. A vital step in getting rich slow is working for no money at all, but working for the hope of possibly getting money later.

On that note, though, there is a warning affixed. If working for no money can help you make money later, maybe I could make extra money later by paying someone to allow me to work! It's sheer brilliance, and I should have told you to put on sunglasses before reading it's rational radiance. The world of freelance writing has scads of unuseful websites who try to scam you out of your lazily-gotten money by selling you kits to help you start making money as a writer. There's plenty of places that will assist you in publishing your own works as well, generally for a hefty sum which you probably won't see returned. Those are get rich quick ideas, and perhaps that's why they have such a low success rate. In the get rich slow model, however, there are much greater chances to achieve the goals that will pay you $4/hour part-time.

So, you have your work laid out for you in plain and, for the most part, grammatically-correct english. Get started in your freelance writing career by commenting on this blog! No one likes a sassy freelancer, so remember to be nice, courteous, use proper punctuation and spelling, and above all else keep yourself in the know and get rich slow.


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